Wednesday, March 28, 2007
…And more information about anything else, really. As a box office employee, I should be able to tell you at any moment, without the slightest hesitation, the rates at all the hotels in the area within a fifty mile radius, book your flight to Southern Utah, give you dating advice and tell you the weather forecast for the next three months. Thus, I will be personally responsible if it rains on the day I said it wouldn’t, if the hotel is full the day you booked your tickets, if your boyfriend breaks up with you, and if your plane crashes. I might even be able to pull a few strings and take care of the funeral arrangements. As a Sales Representative and Assistant Manager of the box office, I can do just about anything short of walk on water. But, with the special effects available to me at the outdoor amphitheater I work at, I might even be able to do that.
I love talking on the phone with you, especially when you shout at me, complain to me, interrupt me, put me on hold to answer another call, and eat lasagna in my ear. My favorite is when you let me know that you are unable to write down your confirmation number because you are in the bathroom. I have no concept of too much information, because I am a Box Office Sales Associate. By all means, don’t have your credit card handy when you call to order tickets: I love to wait for five minutes while you track it down.
I am definitely sympathetic when you call to get tickets for tomorrow night, which has been sold out for two weeks, and expect to get tickets on the front row. And yes, it does make a difference if you are from Red Mountain Spa. I will personally kick the other paying customers out of their seats for you: no, really, I will. You’re very welcome. It’s all part of the job.
Yes, I completely understand your expectations of cheap ticket prices and a Broadway-quality show at the same time. I feel your pain in my soul when your sale total comes to a hefty $500, and I shed a hypothetical tear when you exclaim “oh my butt!” after I tell you the ticket prices. I do not receive the slightest satisfaction when the board of directors raises ticket prices, because I know how it aggravates your already-festering ulcers. Of course I’ll give you a handsome discount: just not over the phone.
When you call and want to get tickets for Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat on a night that Beauty and the Beast plays, I will, of course, make a few calls to the director, stage manager, and actors, and we will be happy to cooperate with you on a show change, completely disregarding the other 1900 people that have tickets on the same night. YOU are my most important customer. In fact, when you ask for tickets to “Joseph and the Electrical Dreamcoat,” “Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Overcoat,” “Joseph and His Amazing Dream Boat,” “Joseph and the Amazing Technology,” or even “Jose and his Colored Garments,” I won’t laugh at you, and I even might call up Andrew Lloyd Webber myself to ask him the reason why he didn’t simply call it “Joseph,” just for your sake. Just so you wouldn’t be embarrassed when you ask to see “Joseph Smith and His Coat.”
When you come to my window at intermission, shocked and ready to protest because of the offensive Potiphar’s wife scene, I will be prepared with the run-of-the-mill apology. I wouldn’t dream of telling you that the Potiphar’s wife seduction scene is in the bible, and Andrew Lloyd Webber wasn’t making it up. Have you ever read Genesis? Chapter 39. Good stuff. In fact, your scene may be the inspiration of a new policy: no refunds on content.
Since our productions are performed in an outdoor venue, I will try to explain to you that rain is very unpredictable in Southern Utah, so if it’s raining at 8 in the morning, chances are, it won’t be raining at 8 pm. We won’t be canceling the play because it started sprinkling twelve hours before showtime. I sincerely hope that doesn’t ruin your day. If, however, it is raining at showtime, I will understand you banging on my window for an immediate refund, along with the other two thousand people here. I am sorry, truly, deeply sorry that if the show is canceled because of rain, you have to fill out a “cancellation form” in order to receive a refund. But not as sorry as I am that your wife’s perm was ruined standing in the rain while you filled it out. Of course we will pay for your flight, your hotel, and your meals for the next three days as penance because of the rain. Yes, our computers are capable of giving you a refund if you don’t have the tickets, don’t have your credit card, don’t know who ordered the tickets, and don’t even know your own name. I am a box office employee, equipped with special detective skills, and I can decipher any information about you, from your birthday, social security number, and the name of your oldest child, just from looking at you. No, really, I can.
So walk away from my window, or hang up your phone, feeling good about yourself. I may be the Box Office Sales Representative that can do anything short of walk on water, but it’s okay for you to walk all over me. That’s what I’m here for. It’s okay.
Or is it?
Anyway, have a nice day.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Four jobs I've had in my life:
1) Worldwide Book Drive - book sorter
2) Tuacahn Box Office
3) Amber Lyn Chocolates
4) Pier 49 Pizza
Four movies I watch over and over:
1) Pride and Prejudice
2) The Importance of Being Earnest
3) The Mummy
4) Lord of the Rings - Return of the King
Four places I've lived:
3) Santa Clara
4) Pleasant Grove
Four TV shows I'd watch forever:
1) The Office
3) I Love Lucy
4) What Not to Wear
Four places I've been on vacation:
1) Southern Oregon
2) California (San Diego, Disneyland, etc.)
Four websites I visit frequently:
3) My Blog
Four of my favorite foods:
2) Rice pudding from Pudding on the Rice
3) Food from Bombay House
Four places I'd rather be right now:
1) At a Jack Johnson concert
2) Zions National Park
3) Jason's Deli
4) At your mom's house
Four friends I am tagging:
1) No one
3) Wants to
4) Be tagged
Now everyone go and fill out this survey NOW. If you don't have a blog, make one. :)
Monday, March 19, 2007
and all of his children, really
just for me.
The warm sun fills me
hope that was covered by the cold
of winter, covered
The birds talk about me
and my newfound hope
lifting me upwards
with their wings.
The snowcapped mountains
remind me of the season
now conquered by warmth
sent back up
to the white-tipped tops
of the mountains.
is this season
for the raising of
the Son of God
the shouts of hallelujah
seem more fitting
when sung in spring.
Spring brings with it
God made spring
today, just for me.
the sunrise dull
small rays, fighting to break the grey
no rain falls
just oppression of
the soul of sky
gravity is more pressing today
the line between the
ground and sky
from the earth
my eyelids, more iron than skin
to blink is to work
pulling shades down
all i feel
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
I wish I could say that I wrote this poem, but I didn't. Here are some great lines from some of my favorite artists. Every line is from a different song, and I put them together in a sort of cohesive manner. The person who can guess all the songs gets something really cool.
Every move you make, every step you take I'll be watchin' you
We go together like a wink and a smile
When my words kiss your ear I’ll be right here
I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose
I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you
If tomorrow's sun doesn't shine, at least I'll have my Clementine
And if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And the daffodils look lovely today
Who'd have thought that love could be so caffeinated?
Yet you're afraid each thing I do is just some evil scheme
My love is not a bank statement
Maybe its just too late, I’ve got to get away
It's awful quiet here since love fell asleep
We'd hit the bottom, I thought it was my fault
Do you have to let it linger?
Call me when you’re sober
Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall
I love ya 'cause you're such a prick
If you want to destroy my sweater, pull this thread as I walk away
Monday, March 5, 2007
Myself-the Term between-
Death but the Drift of Eastern Gray,
Dissolving into Dawn away,
Before the West begin-'Tis Kingdoms-afterward-
In perfect-pauseless Monarchy-
Whose Prince-is Son of None-
Himself-His Dateless Dynasty-
In Duplicate divine-'Tis Miracle before Me-then-
'Tis Miracle behind-between-
A Crescent in the Sea-
With Midnight to the North of Her-
And Midnight to the South of Her-
And Maelstrom-in the Sky-
I love this poem. I love the description of neverending existance, how there is much before us and much after us, and we, in this life, are standing between it all. My favorite image in the poem is the "Crescent in the Sea." What I see from this image is that the moon reflecting on the water represents heaven's reflection in my life. Though heaven is far away, we can all have the light from heaven, or the Light of Christ, reflecting in our own lives. Emily Dickinson is a genius!