don't even try to change my mind

you can give me all the reasons in the world why not to love cats.

you can say that they are lazy, grouchy, snotty, or vicious.

you can say whatever you want, but it's just not going to do any good.

whatever you say, i will still always love cats.

meet holly. she is very independent and likes her distance (and likes to sleep). but she also loves to be scratched under her chin.

peacefully sleeping kitty

meet merlin: he is slightly deranged (but in a good way), and he lets me cuddle him (and he has the softest fir in the world), and because of the coloring on his face, he always looks a little cross-eyed. which is one of the most endearing parts about him.

he saw that i was packing and jumped into my suitcase to say "no! stay!"

thank you for indulging my need to post about my kitties.

i want to be a typer when i grow up

i had a thought last night when i was trying to sleep. it went something like this:

writing. nobody really writes anymore, do they? and this is the part where you think i know a lot of people who write! WRONG. you don't know a lot of people who WRITE, but you probably know a lot of people who TYPE. interesting. when we sit down to write something, most of the time we aren't really writing, are we? here are the things i write: lists, occasional letters, scheduling, notes from class (which many people type nowadays), and other minor things. now, here are the things i type: EVERYTHING ELSE. we're talking emails, messages, papers for class, pretty much anything i turn in for class, recipes, and all of my creative writing. really, when most people write creatively, it's not really creative writing, but creative typing. "yes, i'm planning on getting a masters degree in creative typing" is what i really should be saying to people. when i grow up, i want to be a creative typer.

how did i even start thinking about this? maybe it was because i've been typing all my mom's recipes for her (and believe me, there are hundreds), and there are recipes written on all sorts of scraps, like receipts or envelopes, and for many of them i needed a second opinion in order to decipher whether it was a tablespoon or a teaspoon, 12 or 1-2, etc. etc.

or maybe it was because i was watching "who do you think you are," a really fantastic show about genealogy, and they were looking at really old documents and trying to figure out what they said, and i started thinking about how handwriting changes so much throughout the centuries. i don't see very many kids today learning the art of cursive (and believe me, my cursive is terrible), and that pretty much used to be the ONLY right way to write. and then i started thinking about when i was in uruguay, and how different people's handwriting is down there (surprisingly so. it was often very hard to read). and of course i remembered the many times i got papers back from professors with almost illegible scrawl written all over it (and i'm thinking how in the world am i supposed to ever revise this paper, considering the fact that i can't even read your notes!) note to self: if i'm ever a professor, i want to have decipherable handwriting. it doesn't have to necessarily be great, just decipherable. i write in all caps, and i've written in all caps since about junior high school when i decided i hated my handwriting enough to change it. my dad writes in all caps, so i think that's where i got the inspiration. i'm fond of my handwriting now, most of the time. not that i think it's beautiful, but it's me.

anyway all those thoughts about handwriting turned into thoughts about how more and more people are writing less and less and typing more and more. and there's something sad about that. handwriting is so very unique! and yes, you can argue that typing is more legible, which it is most of the time, but i've read a good number of papers/blogs/status updates/etc that are as difficult to understand as a doctor's chart. either way, it is a little sad for me to see handwriting be less and less valued. i'm sad enough about that i want to improve my cursive and handwriting in general, and when i have children i'm going to make sure they learn how to write well.

but i'm not sad enough about it to swear off all typing forever. because, really, that would just be silly.

yeah, i know, i have deep thoughts when i'm trying to fall asleep.

why the bitter diatribes? it's the day of LOVE, for crying out loud!

i just watched bright star, which is the tragic love story of romantic poet john keats and fanny brawne. i was already aware (thanks to my lit classes) that keats dies at age 25 of tuberculosis, so the end wasn't much of a surprise, but that didn't make it any less depressing.

perhaps not the best movie to watch on valentine's day.

now that i'm sufficiently melancholy, i would like to share some thoughts on valentine's day. i've thought about it, and i have decided this: it's wonderful that we have a special holiday to celebrate love. what taints this holiday, though, are the concourses of people who believe that romantic love is the only type of love worthy to celebrate. most of these people are those who don't currently have a "significant other," so they 1) cry all day long, eat chocolate ice cream to console their downtrodden spirits, and feel sorry for themselves, or 2) wear black, declare valentine's day to be "single awareness day," and go around bitterly proclaiming their hatred of the holiday (they also feel sorry for themselves). one of my friends on facebook had this as his status: "happy single awareness day! most of the married people i know are miserable, free of the burden is pretty awesome" or something to that effect. i was really disgusted by that. it sounds like this poor fellow is so bitter that he's not married that he feels the need to insult all of his so-called "miserable" married friends. i feel sorry for him.

there are so many kinds of love! i'm not married, i'm not dating anyone, but i can still celebrate the love i have in my life. the love i have for my parents, for my sisters and brothers-in-law, my nephews and niece, wonderful friends, etc. etc.

to wallow and snivel that valentine's day isn't worth celebrating because i don't have a boyfriend would be doing a disservice to everyone in my life who i love and who i know love me. i love celebrating valentine's day because it's an extra opportunity to express my love to those around me. and to those of you who say that valentine's day isn't worth it because we should be showing our love every day of the year, that's like saying we shouldn't celebrate christmas because we should be remembering the savior every day of the year. of course we should remember the savior every day of the year, and of course we should show our love every day. is there anything wrong with having a special day set aside to celebrate love? i think not.

sorry for the tirade. that's just what i think. love is wonderful. and we should take this valentine's day to celebrate the love we have, whether or not it has anything to do with romance. with that said, i love you.

and please don't be bitter.

let the hiking season begin!

yesterday, i went with my sister lori and her boys ashton and gavin to hike in snow canyon. we did the johnson's arch trail, a two mile trail, so it was a little hike but lots of fun! i had been dying to get out and hike around, especially because the day was so beautiful--it was almost 60 degrees--and even though the trees are still bare, the sky was beautifully blue.

here are some pictures from the hike:

why hello, tevas, i missed you over the winter!

look at that sky :) *sigh*

and ashton pointed out that this rock formation looks like a hand. so, reach for the sky!

me and the boys

red rock and the skeleton tree

lori, ashton, and gavs! nice face, ash

love that rock, it looks painted. and the boys kept asking who carved and sculpted all the rocks.

gavs

trudging along! cool tree

launching rocks into the big puddle at the end of the trail

lori and i!

i'm definitely going to take advantage of being in southern utah this year by hiking as much as possible. i want to hike once a week (at least), especially because there are so many beautiful hikes so close to home! and now that it's warming up, i can't wait to get started.

fascinating dirt

today i picked up a shovel and decided to make myself useful in my mom's garden. gardening intimidates me, but i would love to learn how, so i told myself i would be my mom's number one go-to girl this year in her gardening (she's a busy woman, so she will probably appreciate the extra help). plus i wanted to enjoy the warming weather (it was fifty-something degrees today, which is not warm, but a definite improvement over last week), so it was an allaroundwinwin situation.

my mom was also in the backyard, working on the garden and watching grandkids, but she handed the shovel over to me and i turned over and loosened the soil, incorporating minerals and other stuff into the soil to prep it for planting. i also removed a good amount of rocks (i told my nephews today that the garden grew lots of rocks over the winter), and pulled up some old roots.

and, i found some earthworms. this was my favorite part. apparently, finding earthworms in your soil is a positive thing, because it's a good indicator that the soil is conducive to growing things. or something like that. of course, my first reaction to finding an earthworm is oh gross! but then i take a deep breath and a second look, and send positive affirmations to the earthworm. keep on keepin' on, earthworm. and send out invitations to all your crawly friends. the good ones, anyway.

i also decided that i wanted to have a small flowerbed all to myself. something about this year makes me want to grow things.

and knit. i'm going to learn how.

spare the rod

i got a call yesterday from a lady from church, asking me to substitute teach her primary class for a few weeks. my stomach always gets a knot when i think about going into primary, but i said yes anyway. yes, i get nervous to teach primary. sometimes kids scare me! especially large quantities of them. the other day my mom and i were watching my niece millie play with her kindergarten class before the bell rang, and i said i would NEVER want to teach elementary school. my mom thought that was unfortunate, but i can honestly say that standing in front of a class of thirty or so children terrifies me more than giving a speech to, say, a thousand people (i haven't done that either). i don't know why i am this way! i just am.

anyway, so i was a bit apprehensive going into the primary class. today i was just sitting in while another sister taught the lesson, watching the children go through various phases and levels of attention and alertness, playing with their papers, exclaiming that they were dying of thirst, etc. etc. one little girl, when told she would have to wait until the end of class to get a drink, started whimpering and "crying": i am so thirsty. i want to go home. wah. i scooted my chair close to her, and at this point i had a choice. i could say: buck up, kid. it won't kill you to wait five more minutes to get a drink. or i could say you poor little lamb, i will immediately take you to get a drink, so you aren't made to wait (your highness). i chose, instead, to say something to the effect of: class is almost over, and then you can get a drink with a sympathetic *pat pat* on the arm. she whimpered and sobbed until the end of class, when the other teacher took her to be comforted by her mummy. lovely child.

i will admit though, there are certain things i definitely like about primary. i like making paper instruments and coloring and singing happy birthday and i'm trying to be like jesus and be around little souls who aren't yet ashamed to be themselves.

so yes, there are a few pluses. but a lot of things that make me want to bring a straight jacket and/or tranquilizer for the next kid who makes a noise. this is going to be fun :)

suit up.

examine me

this week:

i got my blood drawn (twice)

i got an ekg (you know, when they monitor your heart)

i took a sleep oximetry test

i saw a sleep doctor, who told me that i will have to have a full-blown sleep test. basically, i'm going to a sleep-over party at the doctor's office, except for in place of popcorn, movies, and girltalk there will be monitors and wires attached all over my body and a sleep technician watching my every move from a computer screen in the other room. does that strike you as slightly creepy? i think so, yes. but it's all in the name of health!! (bwahaha, the doctors say as they count their millions). all this because the sleep doc thinks i have sleep apnea, which could maybe possibly explain my previously unexplainable nighttime seizures. yes, folks, i am a mystery. a real piece of work. but i suppose it does make life more interesting.

if i didn't love sleep so much, i would hate it. weird things happen when i sleep, apparently.

it gets me thinking, though, of how wonderful it will be to have an immortal body. after the resurrection, when our bodies are reunited with our spirits eternally, we won't have to deal with things like seizures or sleep apnea (or sleep apnea that causes seizures... theoretically). so until then, i will sigh and say oh, mortality.

my goal in all of this is to continue to be optimistic. there's always good, i just have to find it. sometimes, though, it's a bit difficult to locate. for example, because i of the two seizures i just had (dec. 28, jan. 11), i'm not allowed to drive. talk about getting the rug ripped out from under my "independence." it's hard to be dependent on other people, not just because it can hurt the pride a little (there's nothing quite like a test of humility), but because i hate thinking i'm a burden on other people, like my mom who has to cart me around to all of these various doctor's appointments and tests. but this does lead me to be grateful to have such a wonderful, supportive family who are happy and willing to drive me to and fro. i really do have the best family. that's something i've known for awhile, but i'm learning more and more every day just how great they are.

i know there are many things i need to learn from this, so i'm trying to be an apt pupil and learn quickly.

hey, if i learn really fast, can everything be all better soon?